“Reflections on God and Motherhood...”
Believe it or not, one of the greatest challenges of the Christian year for ministers is Mother’s Day.
Now, I know that sounds crazy to most of you, for you’re thinking: “What’s so hard about Mother’s
Day? Just talk about motherhood and apple pie and everyone will be fine.” As a congregant once said to
Robert Fulghum: “I’m bringing my MOTHER to church on MOTHER’S DAY, Reverend, and you can talk
about anything you want. But it had better include MOTHER and it had better be GOOD.” Fulghum
added: “She was joking — teasing me. She also meant it.”1 Why is Mother’s Day a problem for ministers? Well, consider the fact that on that day most of us want to worship some sort of syrupy, sentimentalized, Hallmark version of how great motherhood is and how wonderful all our mothers were. Except for the fact that motherhood is not great for everyone. The reality is that not all mothers were wonderful; not all women enjoyed motherhood and not all children were easy to raise. In fact, raising children may be the hardest job any one could possibly have. Now, add in the fact that many women who would like to be mothers are not — for all kinds of reasons — and you have a prescription for conflicted emotions and potential disaster.
Now, consider the truth that we come to church not to worship any human being — mothers or fathers — but to worship God. There have been some Sundays on Mother’s Day when I questioned who we are worshipping. So, the dilemma for us ministers is critical: We must recognize these realities, but also know that if we ignore Mother’s Day we are digging our own grave — and quickly. Most congregants want the minister to say something good about mothers, motherhood and God, usually in that order.
So, the more I thought about this the more I came to see that we can use this day to answer a simple question: Being people who believe in Incarnation, who believe that God dwells in us, how does the image of motherhood and women reflect for us the reality of God? What do we know about God through the lens of mothers and motherhood that we otherwise would not know?
Before you jump out of your seat and call me a heretic, let me tell you from whence I come. I believe, as does orthodox Christianity, that God does not have a sexual identity, for God is Spirit — not a physical being. Genesis tells us that God created human beings in his image, “male and female created he them.”2 The reality is that Holy Scripture affirms from the beginning that both male and female are contained within the Being we call God. To be sure we have historically used male images for God, primarily because Scripture developed within male dominated cultures. As we humans have matured in our understandings we have realized that God is neither male nor God a female — for God is Spirit and as such both images are contained within God’s Being.
A quick word of caution is appropriate when we come to talk about the feminine nature of God. A perusal of religious history also allows us to realize that a vital distinctive of Judaism and Christianity was their ability to separate sexuality from their understanding and worship of God. As a result of this foundational separation Christianity does not have gods and goddesses — a la other religions. When we talk about the femininity or the motherhood of God, we are not referring to goddesses in any shape, fashion or form. We are talking about a wholeness, a unity, a oneness of God such that God’s essence is reflected in all of humanity, male and female.
Are we aware that Holy Scripture backs us up here? In our texts this morning we see God being
understood in feminine imagery:
Like birds hovering overhead, so the Lord of hosts will protect Jerusalem; he will protect and deliver it, he will spare and rescue it.3 God is seen as a hovering mother hawk who watches over her nest and protects her offspring.
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!4 God is envisioned as a mother hen who gathers her chicks under her wing and protects them.
As mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.5 God is portrayed as a mother consoling and comforting her child.
Though we have ignored the feminine reality in much of our religious life and heritage, envisioning God as male and female enhances our images and understandings of God. Our vision of God is cloudy at best. When the task is understanding God, we do “see through a glass darkly.”6 We use images, metaphors and analogies to help us comprehend the infinite, the Spiritual, the One who is beyond us in so many, many ways. In the Christian church God was understood as revealed in Jesus Christ — and quite particularly in his suffering and crucifixion. These are symbols of loss, of self-sacrifice and of the ultimate in self-giving. The God whom we meet in Jesus Christ is the God who works from beneath, not from above. Despite how Jesus has been co-opted through the years, his is not the image of a militant God who leads us to victory. Jesus is the image of the crucified God, who lays down his life. When we omit either the male or female side of God we worship a false God, an idol made in our own image.
There is one caveat we all must hear: we dare not confuse the symbols and images of God with the reality behind them. To identify God as exclusively male or female is to de-sacralize God, the result of which is idolatry. When we use these symbols we are allowing them to picture for us the characteristics of this one whom we cannot “see” in any complete sense of the word. They are, however, all mere symbols and images of the divine.
So, to restate the question: How does understanding God as encompassing female and motherhood within God’s Being enhance our understanding of God?
The first thing I notice is that when we emphasize this aspect of God, we tend to look more at the loving, compassionate and tender nature of God. To be sure, there are women who are neither loving, compassionate nor tender — just as there are men who are this way. However, on the whole, when we talk about how we see and understand God through our mothers, we tend to come to these aspects.
When we use solely masculine images for God, the result is a male-dominated version of God that is patently false. Exclusive male images for God too often result in our worshipping a “warrior God” who leads us into battle and supposed victory. Though these images may have dominated the Hebrew Scriptures’ understanding of God, they did not do so in the early Christian church.
Like birds hovering overhead, so the Lord of hosts will protect Jerusalem; he will protect and deliver it, he will spare and rescue it.3 God is seen as a hovering mother hawk who watches over her nest and protects her offspring.
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!4 God is envisioned as a mother hen who gathers her chicks under her wing and protects them.
As mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.5 God is portrayed as a mother consoling and comforting her child.
Though we have ignored the feminine reality in much of our religious life and heritage, envisioning God as male and female enhances our images and understandings of God. Our vision of God is cloudy at best. When the task is understanding God, we do “see through a glass darkly.”6 We use images, metaphors and analogies to help us comprehend the infinite, the Spiritual, the One who is beyond us in so many, many ways. In the Christian church God was understood as revealed in Jesus Christ — and quite particularly in his suffering and crucifixion. These are symbols of loss, of self-sacrifice and of the ultimate in self-giving. The God whom we meet in Jesus Christ is the God who works from beneath, not from above. Despite how Jesus has been co-opted through the years, his is not the image of a militant God who leads us to victory. Jesus is the image of the crucified God, who lays down his life. When we omit either the male or female side of God we worship a false God, an idol made in our own image.
There is one caveat we all must hear: we dare not confuse the symbols and images of God with the reality behind them. To identify God as exclusively male or female is to de-sacralize God, the result of which is idolatry. When we use these symbols we are allowing them to picture for us the characteristics of this one whom we cannot “see” in any complete sense of the word. They are, however, all mere symbols and images of the divine.
So, to restate the question: How does understanding God as encompassing female and motherhood within God’s Being enhance our understanding of God?
The first thing I notice is that when we emphasize this aspect of God, we tend to look more at the loving, compassionate and tender nature of God. To be sure, there are women who are neither loving, compassionate nor tender — just as there are men who are this way. However, on the whole, when we talk about how we see and understand God through our mothers, we tend to come to these aspects.
When we use solely masculine images for God, the result is a male-dominated version of God that is patently false. Exclusive male images for God too often result in our worshipping a “warrior God” who leads us into battle and supposed victory. Though these images may have dominated the Hebrew Scriptures’ understanding of God, they did not do so in the early Christian church.
The reality is that for most of us our first experiences of love, compassion and tenderness came
through our mothers. The nurturing Mother is for us, when we are infants, a substitute for the
nurture of God. For most of us (and I am extrapolating from personal experience to
generalization) loving acceptance came through our mothers more than our fathers. I know that in
my home, even with five children, my mother was the one who listened, who comforted and who
forgave. My father was the goal setter, the rules-oriented parent, the one who doled out discipline
and punishment.
Now, to be sure we could not play one against the other. If one parent said something, the other backed them up. But, more often than not, if Dad was being overly strict (as he was prone to be) then Mom was the one who would talk with him and get him to relent.
In my Mother I experienced love so accepting and so complete that there was literally nothing I could do that would stop her from loving me. She had a capacity for love and acceptance that was boundless. I know this same love in Debby (my wonderful wife) — not only for me but also for our sons, their spouses, and yes, grandchildren as well!! At the risk of stereo-typing (a risk I have long ago run roughshod over) the feminine expression of love is much greater than the male. I have often wondered how much of God’s love I would really, really know if it were not for my mother and my wife. They have helped me immensely to change the very nature of the love which I show to others.
Mothers are about “ensouling” us — developing and nurturing our soul. Through these women in my life I have developed my senses of feeling, of loving and of intuition far beyond what I had known. These values, so necessary for our success and survival, are often lost in our male- dominated world. We men can become so bottom line, results-oriented that we fail to remember that the journey is the destination.
Years ago a colleague told of looking into a shop window and seeing price tags which seemed to be inherently wrong. What was expensive was cheap and what was cheap was expensive. He entered the shop and inquired if the prices were right. After examination by the shop owner it was discovered that someone had switched all the price tags. In order to get the true price and value, they had to be switched back.
We live in a world where all the price tags have been switched. What the world says is of value — possessions, things, material goods, etc. — these are but trinkets in the larger understanding of life. What God says is of value — love, grace, mercy, forgiveness — the nature of one’s soul — these are seen as worthless in our material world. Mothers can be a strong dynamic in allowing us to put the price tags back on properly.
In the play, A Raisin in the Sun, the young man comes home, having lost all the families’ money and in so doing destroyed all their hopes, their dreams. His sister, Beneatha, calls him every despicable name imaginable. After she curses out her brother, the mother speaks and says:
"I thought I told you to forgive him.”
"Forgive him? There's nothing left to forgive."
There is always something left to love. And if you ain't learned that, you ain't learned nothing. (Looking at her) Have you cried for that boy today? I don't mean for yourself and for the family 'cause we lost the money. I mean for him: what he been through and what it done to him.
Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most? When they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain't through learning - because that ain't the time at all. It's when he's at his lowest and can't believe in hisself 'cause the world done whipped him so!
When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is.”7
Now, to be sure we could not play one against the other. If one parent said something, the other backed them up. But, more often than not, if Dad was being overly strict (as he was prone to be) then Mom was the one who would talk with him and get him to relent.
In my Mother I experienced love so accepting and so complete that there was literally nothing I could do that would stop her from loving me. She had a capacity for love and acceptance that was boundless. I know this same love in Debby (my wonderful wife) — not only for me but also for our sons, their spouses, and yes, grandchildren as well!! At the risk of stereo-typing (a risk I have long ago run roughshod over) the feminine expression of love is much greater than the male. I have often wondered how much of God’s love I would really, really know if it were not for my mother and my wife. They have helped me immensely to change the very nature of the love which I show to others.
Mothers are about “ensouling” us — developing and nurturing our soul. Through these women in my life I have developed my senses of feeling, of loving and of intuition far beyond what I had known. These values, so necessary for our success and survival, are often lost in our male- dominated world. We men can become so bottom line, results-oriented that we fail to remember that the journey is the destination.
Years ago a colleague told of looking into a shop window and seeing price tags which seemed to be inherently wrong. What was expensive was cheap and what was cheap was expensive. He entered the shop and inquired if the prices were right. After examination by the shop owner it was discovered that someone had switched all the price tags. In order to get the true price and value, they had to be switched back.
We live in a world where all the price tags have been switched. What the world says is of value — possessions, things, material goods, etc. — these are but trinkets in the larger understanding of life. What God says is of value — love, grace, mercy, forgiveness — the nature of one’s soul — these are seen as worthless in our material world. Mothers can be a strong dynamic in allowing us to put the price tags back on properly.
In the play, A Raisin in the Sun, the young man comes home, having lost all the families’ money and in so doing destroyed all their hopes, their dreams. His sister, Beneatha, calls him every despicable name imaginable. After she curses out her brother, the mother speaks and says:
"I thought I told you to forgive him.”
"Forgive him? There's nothing left to forgive."
There is always something left to love. And if you ain't learned that, you ain't learned nothing. (Looking at her) Have you cried for that boy today? I don't mean for yourself and for the family 'cause we lost the money. I mean for him: what he been through and what it done to him.
Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most? When they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain't through learning - because that ain't the time at all. It's when he's at his lowest and can't believe in hisself 'cause the world done whipped him so!
When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is.”7
Through our mothers we learn to “measure him right,” and to share with one another the love and
grace of Jesus Christ. So, even if this is a difficult day for you — celebrate and rejoice. Through
our mothers we are given life and an understanding of the One who calls us to life and life eternal.
Thanks be to God for motherhood — and our Mothers. May they ever nurture, strengthen and
lead us to God.
1 Robert Fulghum, “It Was on Fire When I Laid Down on It.”
2 Genesis 1: 27
3 Isaiah 31: 15
4 Luke 13: 34-35
5 Isaiah 66: 13
6 I Corinthians 13: 12
7 Lorraine Hansberry, “A Raisin in The Sun.”
1 Robert Fulghum, “It Was on Fire When I Laid Down on It.”
2 Genesis 1: 27
3 Isaiah 31: 15
4 Luke 13: 34-35
5 Isaiah 66: 13
6 I Corinthians 13: 12
7 Lorraine Hansberry, “A Raisin in The Sun.”
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