“I’ll be praying for you…” How many times have we said this to a loved one, friend or even acquaintance who is going through a tough patch in their life? At churches we are noted for our long “prayer lists, prayer groups, and prayer chains.” As followers of Jesus we believe that prayer works, i.e., that prayer changes events in some form or fashion, although we can never predict the outcome.
Let me unequivocally affirm at the outset that my question is not with prayer itself. The Scriptures teach us to pray — as did Jesus. To be a true to our Lord we must be people of prayer. The challenge with regard to prayer comes in how we understand prayer.
Prayer is often understood as our talking to God for the purpose of pleading with God to do something. Is this really the best understanding of prayer? I really do not think so, mainly for what this view says about God. We claim to believe in a God who is omnipotent, omniscience, and omnipresent. We also claim that God is pure love and compassion. Total agreement here — so, let’s ask ourselves the tough question: “If God has all of these characteristics by nature, then why should we pray?” If God is all knowing, etc., then God already knows what is coming. Can we really change God’s mind? Do we need to do so?
Or what about God’s love? If God is all loving, then God already is acting toward us in total and complete love. What more could we want? If God is all present, then why should we ask God to come beside us? We believe God is always with us, whether we recognize it or not.
Too often we operate with a view of prayer that turns God into our cosmic butler, waiting on us hand and foot to supply our every want. In this perspective all we have to do is “name it and claim it” — and boom, God is there with the cosmic checkbook to provide what ever we ask. Is that really what we believe God to be? Is God’s purpose nothing more than to make us meet our every need and make us happy?
Before you start emailing me texts which refer to our taking our needs to God, stay with me for a few more paragraphs. In this essay I do not intend to quote scripture but to merely share what I, after 47+ years of thinking theologically and Biblically, believe is the deeper meaning and purpose of prayer.
The problem/challenge of prayer is not God, but us. We have transformed what is to be the foundational aspect of a life of faith, i.e., walking in communion with God, to a matter of self-interest and desire. Nothing could be further from the truth. The purpose in prayer is not to get anything from God, nor is it to change God’s purpose in any given moment or situation.
The purpose in prayer is for us to so align ourselves to the Spirit of God that we are able to LISTEN to God — and in so doing to become aware of what God wants us to be and to do in the context before us.
Prayer is God’s way of speaking to us, of directing our response to those matters which are grasping us. Prayer is God’s way of calling our attention to those matters which ought to be grasping us, which go far beyond our immediate self-interest. Authentic prayer begins when we stop talking and start listening to the Spirit so that we can sense the guidance and direction of our Lord. Until we this transformation takes place, we are praying mostly to ourselves, which is telling both about our impotence in prayers as well as the reality of our God.
Do we see the difference here? Prayer is communion with God so that we can sense, albeit at times faintly, the mind of Christ in any given situation.
Such prayer is not only personal, but also corporate. In corporate prayer we join together to seek as the Body of Christ the leading of the Spirit. Corporate prayer serves to limit our tunnel vision which makes prayer solely about us and what we seen. Prayer at the corporate level, i.e., congregational, results in our allowing the Spirit to lead us through a communal sense of what God wants rather than us being captivated by our personal and usually limited focus.
Consider the important issue of how we can best communicate the gospel with unbelievers and see God’s Spirit come alive in them. Too often our prayer for unbelievers has been “God, change those sinners.” When we pray listening to the Spirit, the prayer for others is transformed; “God, change us so that we are able to communicate in word and action the power and greatness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.”
Consider the many social issues that tend to separate us even as followers of Christ. What if we prayed not for God to change others, but to change us, to work in our lives such that we are able to share with others the response of God’s love to the challenges that life brings? Rather than praying for God to feed the hungry, what if we decided that God was wanting us to act to help those dealing with hunger in our world of plenty? Pick the issue that is most compelling to you — probably where God wants you to be involved — and then seek how God wants you to respond. Ask your community of faith to join you in praying that you all might know the mind of Christ with regard to whatever is before you.
I realize that this may be a lot for some of us to chew on…I know it has been for me. Too often we have used prayer as a shield for inactivity and in so doing separating ourselves from engagement with the larger world. Prayer which seeks the guidance and direction of the Spirit is about engagement with rather than separation from this world.
Allow me to quote Frederick Buechner: “The place God calls you to is where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.” Our deep gladness comes in response to hearing God’s Spirit calling to us in love. When we know this place and are engaged in this place, then prayer becomes a simple matter of staying open to God’s Spirit so that we may be faithful.
Years ago I attended a Spiritual Formation retreat in Bethesda, Maryland by the Shalem Institute. Central to the retreat was a 24 hour period of silence — no talking to anyone. Just before we started I was checking some books out of their library to read. Sister Rose Mary Dougherty, one of our retreat leaders, looked at my arms and said, “We will do a lot of things to keep from listening to the Spirit of our Lord.” She nailed me to the wall, for to that point my spiritual journey was more intellectual than spiritual practice. I went to my room, sat there for several hours, reading scripture while trying to be there in silence and acceptance. About 1 am as I watched the snow gently fall, I was overcome with an incredible sense of God’s presence and peace. I felt love from God such as I had not experienced in a long, long time.
After the retreat ended I drove home and returned to my church. At the next Diaconate meeting one of our deacons asked to share a thought. She looked at me and said, “If the difference we see in you is reflective of what happens in a spiritual retreat, then we’re all in favor of you going every year.” I looked at these dear friends and colleagues and said to them, “I experienced the presence of God in prayer like I’ve never known.”
From that moment on I’ve realized that prayer is not about what I want God to do. Prayer is about stilling my voice and mind so that I might sense God presence and purpose in whatever I am facing. Do I get it right all the time? Not on your life. However, I keep trying…and I hope that I can allow the events of my life — even such as developing Multiple Myeloma — to lead me to a deeper and fuller awareness of the presence and call of God in my life. In the end life is not about us getting what we want, but about God’s will being done in and through us.
